Welcome to therodge.com, the digital equivalent of that noise you hear at 3 AM that is definitely not just the house settling. If you’re here for boring e-commerce or standard email sign-ups, you've come to the right place—but only after you navigate the fever dream that powers this operation.

TheRodge.com was not founded by entrepreneurs or venture capital. It was founded by a series of increasingly outrageous tales spun around a single, highly suspicious microbial sample.

Our founder, a known associate of a disgruntled former Maryland Men’s Basketball team water boy, was attempting to grow a truly colossal specimen of... well, let's call it "exotic basil." The results were unexpected. The microbial biomass of this basil—composed mostly of fiercely territorial bacteria and surprisingly judgmental fungi—quickly reached sentient levels.

It turns out, the microbes weren't just growing; they were gossiping. They whispered secrets about deep-space agriculture, confirming that yes, aliens not only exist, but they mostly communicate through interpretive dance and highly potent, intergalactic strains of Cannabis sativa. These tales were so outrageous that they formed a hyper-dimensional singularity, and thus, therodge.com was born.

Our mission is simple: to collect the most ludicrous, laugh-inducing detritus the internet has to offer. We are fueled by the same energy that keeps the Baltimore Orioles' mascot perpetually upbeat, and the lingering, inexplicable mystique of whatever the Washington Redskins are calling themselves this week.

Seriously, though: If you find something funny out there, send it in. We need to feed the biomass. It’s getting hungry, and we hear when it gets hungry, it starts messing with the e-commerce platform.